I am going to university on my own – like thousands of other students around the country. My closest friend is my boyfriend, and he is 3 hours away by train. The place I’m going to is quite far away from everything, quite isolated… and I’m really scared.
I would guess that I have the usual fears of anyone going to a new place, let alone a new university. I’m scared I won’t make friends (although I already have a couple I know! Hi if you’re reading this!). I’m scared I’ll be flitting from group to group for a year, likely until I find somewhere I can stay and then we all go away for the summer. What if I don’t get on with my flat mates? What if, what if, what if?
I’m scared that my friends will turn out to, once again, be “friends” and I’ll have yet another miserable time. I’m scared that they’ll find my regular self annoying and they won’t want to talk to me, or be around me. That happens all the time… and the worst thing is, I don’t know what to do to change it.
I’ve tried. I’ve tried being quieter, louder, but I struggle to be anything but myself, and that person seems to be the one people don’t like. I don’t know what to do to change it. I’m terrified. Who knew that having, making and keeping friends could be so hard?!